Mohamed Salah's Christmas Curse
Screw you Salah, abi?
I have awakened from my long, long nap today. It was very needed after a tiresome week. I came home for the holidays. To see my mother, my dad, my sisters, friends, family, neighbors, the orphaned cat, ducks, everybody. On Christmas Eve, I got sick. Not deathbed sick, never, but I definitely threw common courtesy out the window this week. Chest heaving, mucus coming out yellow and disgustingly thick (sorry), and every time I cough it’s not dry, you can definitely hear the mucus (or spit) coming out with every forceful blow out of my lungs. Very not fitting for a fit person like myself. A few sniffs into the sickness my sinuses are clogged and so the headache begins. Not the brightest way to begin the festive season, or so I thought until I saw this:
Mohamed Salah (@mosalah) • Instagram photos and videos
Now you’re thinking, what could this random man have possibly done to piss you off more than sickness during Christmas? And if that’s what was genuinely the first thought to come to your head after seeing my good habibti (I have 5 contacts named such, and this was a great reminder to change his), I need you to click off this Substack, abi? How do you possibly not know who THE Mohamed Salah is? Jamani you American. Or actually don’t, as I need a few things to look to once I near retirement in my football career. Please stay. Google is free.
Mohamed Salah, 32, Egyptian, one of the biggest faces of the Premier League let alone Liverpool, seen in photo with loving wife and kids. Why is another prominent footballer, I, Saint Icarus, mad about it? Because this is what’s known as the Mohamed Salah Christmas Tree Curse. Starting in 2022, people have begun referring to the annual post from Habibtis' Instagram account as such, as for when he posts the Christmas tree, the second half of the Premier League year for Liverpool doesn’t seem to do so well.
He initially started posting the annual Christmas photo in 2019 I believe. Or at least that’s how far I’m willing to scroll through our text messages. I don’t have time to stalk Instagram! It’s just very wholesome, and happy, and embodying the holiday spirits that you normally want to feel during the cold Christmas times of the Western hemisphere.
Mohamed Salah, in front of the infamous Xmas tree, on 25th December 2019
I know some people have been mad about the Christmas Tree because he is Muslim, and to be fair I may not be the right person to speak on this, but I don’t think he is a bad Muslim by any means for wanting to let his kids receive presents on Christmas day. I mean, gifts are absolutely fun, and at the end of the year? What a great way to end it. Also, it’s not like he’s going to Church or anything. I think I have more qualms with all the white Americans who rush to open presents in the morning, eat lunch with family, and sleep for dinner after all that feasting and not attending a single mass. I don’t have to be super religious to know that even in my home country of Tanzania, mass is the starter of your day on Christmas morning for any Christian. So if he’s not doing even that what’s the harm?
But anyway, my qualms today aren’t with polytheism, it’s with a different type of plural: wins. Something Liverpool has arguably not been able to achieve since the infamous Salah tree pic. Yes, Liverpool won the Premier League in the 2019 to 2020 season. But I swear, and it feels like everyone swears these days, that after Salah posts that tree, the team starts tanking in the second half of the season. That in itself is not entirely true, as we have been runner-up 21-22 and have been close a couple of times. Am I coping as a Liverpool fan and footballer? Maybe. But the truth is, whether or not Salah posts that picture, we will still fucking cheer them on whether it is their victory lap or their last lap. And if you’ve seen the press this fall you know about the last laps, most especially with Salah. I have loved this run he’s had with the best club in the Premier League, but I completely understand if he wants to leave.
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MoSalah has undoubtedly had a lot of back and forth with Liverpool's heads after they’ve yet to offer him a new contract as of today, December 27th. His current contract expires June 2025. He has without a doubt had a big, lasting impact on the club in the past couple of years and it would be a pain to let him go. This era of soccer whether in the Premier League, La Liga, or just sports leagues big and small all across the world has been about the mix of seeing the older, more prime figureheads of the sport usher in the new generation. Whether it’s Lamine in Barca with people like Lewandowski or the gise of Hansi Flick, or Bronny James and Lebron, even just having Salah on the team as forward has been such a great run as we have enjoyed our wins and picked up after our losses these past couple years.
So instead of arguing about who is a good Muslim or who is a bad forward, we should enjoy the precious moments we have with Mohamed, he’s a really cool guy, and I’m not just saying this because I’m cool with him or because I’ve played with and against him. I’m still sick during this holiday season so let me be sappy while I still feel it. This could genuinely be the last season we have with him at Liverpool, so let’s not beat down on him, and embrace him this holiday season and beyond to 25’. And who knows, maybe the tree will light up for good this time around. Or as a sign from Allah to not Merry Mubarak.
- Saint Icarus
Index:
Abi
Nigerian Pidgin - “Really?” “right?” but I’m not Nigerian, I just picked it up from our short-lived Afcon earlier this year. I hate admitting their influence.
Jamani
Swahili - “my god?” “omg,” but my interpretation of it is just a well-put “man wtf?”